adventures in home-making

B is for banjo.

MUSIC AND DAYDREAMS

Micah colored the B is for Banjo page while Max colored it and labelled the parts with a little help from Cold Antler Farm.

We talked about banjos and listened to some banjo music as we colored and painted. You can listen to the music with us by downloading the mp3s below or using the audio function.

BANJO DREAM - The Carolina Chocolate Drops

MAR RANO - Bela Fleck

JESUS OF BANJUL - Bela Fleck

I wanted to hear this NPR program on the roots of the banjo "reconsidered" so I figured this was a great time to listen to it as we colored and crafted.

TALK, WATCH, AND READ

Since Max and Micah have already watched Throw Down My Heart a number of times, we talked about what we learned about the banjo from this film. Micah requested a refresher, so we watched Bela and his Tanzanian friends in an abridged version. We also watched a clip from the Sleepy Man Banjo Boys rocking out their banjos in their bedroom. This inspired Max to jump around and make his own plan for a banjo band....

Then, Max read aloud to us from this groovy Sheesham and Lotus brochure on old timey instruments and music. Putting the banjo in the local context of old timey music is helpful for us, since there is an abundant and throbbing love for this genre in Alabama.

CREATE: MAKE YOUR OWN BANJO

Inspired by Little Elephants' paper plate banjos, we created our own banjos using what we could find.

I always like to begin with a ton of possibile supplies and then narrow down as we go, depending on how much (or how little) the munchkins want to do. Supplies included:

• Nonbreakable kids plates
• Stickers
• Acrylic paints
• Paintbrushes
• Paint stirring sticks (free at hardware stores)
• Cotton puff balls
• Masking tape
• Regular glue
• Scrap fabric
• Scissors
• Cardboard

We started by decorating our nonbreakable (formica?) cheapo plates. The kids attached stickers to the head of the banjo and then created a border along the rim of their banjos using scrap fabric and glue. Max was so proud that he found a sticker for Gertie and then he decided that he wanted to serenade Gertie with his banjo. So the craft took on a goatish element.

Next we wrapped three rubber bands around one plate. We cut and decorated pieces of cardboard to use as makeshift tuning keys or pegs, added them with glue, and reinforced with masking tape.

I love how Max managed to find a "Girls Rule" sticker for his Gertie-inspired banjo.

"Gertie loves it. Look mom, she stood on her hind legs..."

A song for Gertie.

"Gertie, oh Gertie, I love you Gertieeeee..... Oh Gertieeee..."

Just a glitter stripe craft.

Inspired by Social Proper's glitter stripe card, we decided to make our own take on it. Far be it that we should get bogged down in details or goals, no sirreeee.... Micah took the idea and ran in a different direction while I took the idea and ran in place before finally deciding that I am not a jogger or the kind of person who can find a special reward to running in place.

Our paths part.

Micah finds her own way to where she wants to be.

Okay, bring out the bubble paper because we are going SOMEWHERE ELSE ALTOGETHER now all together.

And let's not forget the entire purpose of our craft- to find an excuse for a long line of glitter....

I mounted cropped versions of our craft on a piece of wood which I painted a dark color. Micah loves it when I mount her work- she takes great pride in it- so I've been making an effort to do this with more crafts.

Learning to care for Gertie.

Yesterday afternoon, Gertie let us know that she appreciates company. We spent some time outside petting her (and patting her, she likes to be patted more than petted) and learned that, like a true Southern lady with a well-coiffed hairdo, she does not like for anyone to touch her horns. 

When we went back inside, Gertie started bleating. I'm so glad we can hear her little bleat in the house so we can respond to it. Back we went to swing and pal around with the Gert a little more. I hope she likes living with us enough to thrive. If she doesn't, we will of course take her back to the farm.

Love letter #13: Tom Waits, Bela, Mr. Max, and links to love.

The marvelous Mr. Max.

NEW COAT OF PAINT - Tom Waits

The play play play page is up and waiting for additions. I plan to update it every time I stumble across a new way to play that I shudder to forget.

NPR "reconsiders" the banjo's historic roots. Just more proof that everyone needs to watch Bela Fleck's Throw Down My Heart.

If they asked me, I could write a book about this awesome writing about the history of writing. Great inspiration for a unit study.

Hummel's crochet tree cozy keeps making me laugh when I should be very, very serious about the "disorder" in our home. One day, when I have a home that looks like this, disorder will assume its own aesthetic potency.

I am madly inlove with That Artist Woman and the exquisite art she shares with kids. Wow. 

The Nurture Store does not live on another planet. Or, rather, she when to bring other planets home. And when to use Star Wars to teach literacy.

Watercolor and pastel sparrow.

Milla was almost named Wren. And today Micah watercolored a sparrow which we first outlined with oil pastels.

Supplies included:

• Watercolor paints
• An old piece of watercolor paper with Micah's doodles on it (I thought the doodles would make a neat background)
• Water
• Paintbrushes
• Gray and blue oil pastel crayons
• A sparrow template for tracing 
• Pencil or charcoal

We started by tracing the sparrow with pencil onto our paper and then outlining the sparrow in gray pastel crayon. We also added a few clouds and squiggles around the sparrow with our pastels.

Then we wet the paintbrushes and started to paint. I added one color to the palate and we painted until we used it all up except for a teensy bit. Then I asked Micah what color I should add to that teensy bit. And what color did she think we would get after mixing a teensy bit with a new color? And so we meandered across the page, color by color, mix by mix.

Micah watercolors over the pastels.

You can see the original doodles on the paper- I hate to waste good paper with a doodle on it.

Micah sits back and contemplates which color to use next.

I love trying to decide whether we will use gouache, acrylics, watercolor, or fingerpaint for each little craft.

Our palette is usually the top wood slat of our "paint box" because I love the colors and memories of colors that greet us each time we pull out the paints.

Gertrude the Goat.

Gertie arrived this morning amid much bally-hoo and baa-a-a-aing. So far, she is still scoping out the yard and trying to decide if the scene suits her. I put her next to a large patch of kudzu and now I need to run to the feed and seed in search of a proper, comfortable running line for her. Until we fence the back of the yard, her running line will rotate around various trees.

Storytelling with story blocks.

Inspired by the perfect simplicity of Teach Beside Me's story starter blocks, I grabbed a sharpie and made a few blocks of our own today. The kids called out nouns and verbs to me while I tossed in a few personal favorites. 

Since I wanted the structure to be a little more open-ended (i.e. not taking the form of complete sentences but rather giving the subjects, objects, scene, and action while allowing the storyteller to string it all together), I used the blocks as follows:

YELLOW BLOCKS - Characters and nouns. Our favorite characters, the ones we can't imagine stories without, included Max, Micah, Milla, Alina, Patrick, Vanilla the dog, a tick, a fairy, a frog, a knight, a robin, Johann S. Bach, a magician, a nerd (I love nerds and geeks and dweebs and others of my stripe), a goat, a giant, a ninja girl (Max thought of his friend Micah with this one), a uniorn, Grand Bunicu, a clown, a prince named Honored, Einstein, Queen Mab, and an alien. 

RED BLOCKS - Verbs and action words. The actions we loved most includedmakes, promises, battles, runs, tickles, loves, climbs, forgets, prays, goes, leaps, wanders, eats, gives, ponders, dances, forges, and finds.

GREEN BLOCKS - Places, locations, and scenes. Our personal must-haves included the circus, the beach, a pond, church, an old house, a tower, an island, a road, a castle, a canoe, a crib, a garden, a magic mask, a thimble, a car, a spaceship, a key, and a rope.

BLUE BLOCKS - Objects, things, and story props. We included a bag, yarn, bubbles, a piano, a box, a bush, a tree, a crown, a wand, a song, a toilet, a can, a pen, a ball, an eye, an egg, a gadget, and a toe. 

So far, I love the story seeds we are planting.

Ninja girl makes eggs on the beach. 

Or ninja girl makes a beach with an egg.

Bach eats a crown.

Rather than lose our blocks right away, I stitched together a little story block bag from a table napkin.

Just fold the napkin in half longways and cut a 8 inch folded piece. Turn it inside out and stitch the sides together, leaving a hole at top for the bag. Then roll down your fabric once (still inside out) and stitch it down all the way around to hem raw edges. Then roll it one more time leaving a larger amount of space (large enough to thread some twine or a fabric belt through) at the top. Stitch all the way around, leaving a 2 inch hole to thread your twine through it. There are so many variations on this simple little bag stitch... as many variations as the stories you can tell and the adventures you can serialize and continue with story blocks.

Sketchbook ideas.

I spent a little time this morning making a document with many different sketching ideas for the kids. Since we will be taking a long car trip to Ohio soon, I thought this might provide excitement (in the sketching and imagining) plus satisfaction (in the completion).

Download your own version. Little ones can color in the circles as they finish a sketch. 

Turning boring wall art into a bohemian kitsch-fest.

Sometimes when I walk down the hall and lift my eyes to see this brown wood carving, I am practically petrified. How on earth could anything so dull continue to have a hold on my heart? Okay, so it was only $2. But it is ugly. And plain. And unlike anything else in our home. 

I feel cheap just looking at it. If cheap is how I feel, then let it be a cheap that falls sensibly in our hurlyburly bohemian home. Let it be cheap and tacky- not cheap and boring.

Enter the goauche paints, water, paintbrushes, and sandpaper. Micah sanded it down around the edges and through the middle to give that fake-looking patina a little more texture.

And then we whipped out the paints and brushes and brought the boho and the hobo back where it belongs. On our walls. Tacky sweet and now it feels like home.

A walk in the park.

The sun left freckles on the leaves.

Patrick wore my backpack so every inch of exposed skin on my body

could feel the day's breeze.

My husband unburdened me.

Which is not an easy thing to do to a woman who wears her

burdens like jewelry.

"If I smile, will you be nice to me?"

"I don't know. I haven't decided."

The grass is greener inside the stroller.

Milla chased Micah 

who chased the speckles and sunbeams.

Like every little girl born while the azaleas were in full bloom,

Micah can fly. 

And spin

until the horizon smudges.

"Mommy, when you dance and stop,

everything stops dancing too..."

Today's nature table.

Romping around the dog park today, we found two shiny beetles and a piece of broken concrete which deserved a little observation.

We also found a dessicated mushroom all alone in the middle of a field.

Plus berries and buds that we have yet to identify....

And a few broken branches so old that the bark peeled off like the skin of an onion.

A visit to Blackmon Lane.

Off on an outing to Moundville this morning to see Bobby Jean and Arthur, two dear people who are strong, steadfast threads in the fabric of my heart. The lovely light wind kept the summer heat from melting us into the outdoor chairs which kept calling us by name. Micah and Milla played while Max hiked around the property with one of Arthur's sons. 

The dirt was so fine that the girls couldn't stop running it through their fingers again and again.

Arthur with his most recent grandbaby.

Patrick, Andre, Milla, and I walked across the field as Micah enjoyed a ride in the golf cart with her newfound friends (I think the last time she saw Tamaya was at Max's birthday party a few years back).

Milla loved meeting the cows- she had many things to yell at them. Micah stayed in Bobby Jean's lap in the golf cart.

While we stood there, Arthur's bull sulked up to the fence and attempted to display his manliness. Tamaya pointed out the "ugly pink thing" which emerged from his private area. And that's the simple difference between a cow and a bull. Not to mention that the bull's eyes lacked the sweetness of the cow's. There was a little fire there, a little possibility of a charge given the right spark.

The ladies scope out the guests.

The bull shows us who is boss.

Bobby Jean explained that Arthur Lee (which is what she has called him for as long as I can remember) liked to keep "all these animals" as pets. While Bobby Jean and I chatted, Arthur told Patrick that we would need a shelter for our little goat, as well as a collar and a chain until we build a pen for her. 

Our goat arrives on Tuesday and we can't wait. Now to begin the fun of coming up with a name for her.

Sittin' up with the dead: A tradition that has gone out of fashion.

A print from an old Romanian preschool textbook dated from the time of communism.

The old man was laid out on the dining room table in a nice wool coat and his wooden leg had the gleam of fresh polish. Carla and I, like good little American kids, prepared to "offer our condolences", a bunch of fancy, tender words plucked and arranged in a bouquet, to the elderly gentleman's wife but whenever she ran out of the breath required to sustain her long wails, two other ladies with scarves tied neatly round their chins would pick up the chorus. There was no proper time or place for the offering of verbal bouquets in the death vigil of the Romanian peasant who lived across the street in the village of Bran.

I've never been able to erase the images of this vigil from my mind.

"She must have loved him SO much to cry like this," I whispered to my cousin.

"Right," he muttered, "He beat her with his wooden leg almost every night. I don't think she will miss those beatings." Standing on hallowed ground scoops the breath from your chest like ice cream. Carla's little face crumpled into that look of concern that covered for fear and worry. For two or three days, villagers streamed in and out of the house to pay their respects. The wailing continued. When the widow's voice grew hoarse and raspy from mourning, other village ladies picked up the slack. The old man's spirit may have left his body, but no one else in town would leave the body alone until he was safely covered with the dirt he had worked his entire life. 

My travels and experiences have taught me that village life and folkways tend to be similar across cultures. Enjoying every sinewy morsel of Mitchell B. Garrett's Horse and Buggy Days on Hatchet Creek, I wasn't surprised to find a similar dead-ication in Reconstruction Alabama. Garrett reports:

When a person died, the relatives of the deceased were expected to weep and wail a right smart to indicate their grief, lapsing at intervals into a sort of comatose condition. Good neighbors "laid out" the body, that is, washed and dressed it for burial, and laid it out on the best bed in the parlor with the eyes closed and the hands folded across the chest. Since one night at least always intervened between death and burial, it was the custom to sit up with the corpse from twilight till dawn. This last service was often performed by a group of young people of courting age who dropped in at nightfall, packed the aggrieved family off to bed, and took over the premises for a quiet social gathering. If the season was summer, they could sit on the front porch, talk, and play games; if winter, they could sit in the living room or kitchen by the open fire. There was nothing especially solemn about "sitting up with the body".

I wonder how many love stories began with a wake, how many kisses were stolen from the excuse to go and check on the body. The Pine Hill Haints need a song about this....

Garrett goes on to explain that tombstone were "two long flat rocks picked up in the neighborhood" and specific practices governed the digging of graves.

Graves were always dug with careful reference to the points of the compass-- the head towards the west, so that on the Resurrection Morning the body would rise with the face toward the break of day and the rising sun.

I'm still stuck somewhere back on that porch with the crickets, fireflies, and kisses of endless summer nights. 

More butterflies to chase in this meadow:

• "Sitting Up With the Dead", a lovely historical look at this Southern practice (Jospehine's Journal)
• A gaze through the history of staying up with the dead (Every City Is A Small Town)
• A brief history of Hatchet Creek (John B. Scott Jr.)
• Other books written about Clay County, Alabama (Clay County Chamber of Commerce)

Micah at Hurricane Creek.

 The water was low and the shoes were not an obstacle.

It began with a little ankle and then a pant leg pulled up.... the rocks beckoned in varying shades of brown and beige.

Suddenly the water was everywhere and the little girl became a fish, a duck, a water-loving creature for sure.

Stones, sand, water, slate, and all the magic of Hurricane Creek.

A day bursting with possibilities.

The sun nodded her assent to my plans for a much-ado day. Patrick and his friend the handheld lawnmower are making sweet music together in the front yard while the munchkins continue their fairyland adventures. Laid-back mornings like this turn into heady, busy days.

On my list of possibilites:

Paint the bookshelf I thrifted with black chalkboard paint. 

Upcycle some more dresses for the ladies.

Get a goat. Or two. (I'm chomping at the bit to tell you more, but don't want to spoil it.)

Shave my legs so I can wear that skirt I made yesterday. For those who wonder how I blog so much, shaving the legs gets left behind. Back in my college days, I had longterm solutions for my "shaving is the most boring activity on the planet and I refuse to do it". One time, I used a tweezer to pluck every single hair from my legs on a long road trip to the beach. Waxing effects without the hot wax. Alas, car trips don't afford the luxury of plucking anymore.

Finish adding handprint, footprint, and circle appliques to our tablecloth.

Create a canvas using old oil paint and old sheets dried to a crisp in the sun. I need a big canvas for the kids room and the store bought variety is way too pricey.

Buy some fish for dear Bobby Jean, whom I can't wait to see today!

Finish plans for a Sunday school lesson on angels and supernatural stuff.

A quick upcycle for Micah.

One of Micah's favorite activities is to pile on skirts an ballet shoes and pretend she is a ballerina. She performs her dances for us at least four times a day. So today, when she kept asking to wear her baptism dress because it was "really long", I decided to whip up a really long dress for her (in a non-newborn size) from an old dress of mine, a torn and stained tank of hers, some old stained family linens, and a strip of lace plus some scraps. 

She was so happy with the result. And off she went to the store with Daddy, where it is reported that she danced in the aisles for various folks and fielded compliments on her dress.

Getting those passports.

An adventure in itself for our family of five. Did you know that all the kids, including babies, must be present as witnesses when you apply for their passport? So we rocked the Tuscaloosa County Courthouse this afternoon and crossed our fingers as we walked out minus many official documents and proofs of identity. 

The passport photos.

As for the bill, there are more pleasant topics of conversation....

9 ways we played with "The Island of the Blue Dolphins" by Scott O'Dell.

Max loved the book so much that we devoted our day to re-exploring it. Here are ten ways we played with The Island of the Blue Dolphins. If you have other suggestions, please share. We'd love to have more reasons to play.

1. Make a semantic web based with the word "survival" in the center. Max's web is pictured blurrily above.
2. Go back through the book and decide on a name for each chapter.
3. Create a watercolor map of the island based on what you learn in the book.
4. Use wikipedia to explore the somewhat sad current use of San Nicolas island as a navy base. 
5. Create and color a map of the Channel Islands off the Cailfornia coast. Use magazines to cut out pictures of small houses, hotels, signs, and more and glue them on your map to indicate landmarks.
6. Make a list of your favorite adjectives and words in the book.
7. Create a bestiary page for a creature in the book.
8. Write an entry in your natural journal from Karana's perspective. Imagine you are on the island in her shoes. Use the book for assistance if needed.
9. Play third-person v. first-person games. You read something from a book and let your little one guess if it is third or first. Talk about why the writer chose this tense.

Okra painting and printing.

The headlines of our local newpapers announced that this was "the largest sorority rush year on campus ever". I'll take that as a promise of a droll day.... 

Patrick returns late tonight, and I cannot wait to curl up in his arms and finally get some sleep after a week of pretending I can sleep without him. 

Inspired by this sacre-bleu okra printing idea from bkids plus the okra we picked up from the farmer's market, we decided to make fields of flowers from okra and acrylic paints. 

Easy toddler coloring fun.

While Max and I read together, Micah got restless and requested an activity. So I printed a blank sheet of graph paper, dumped out a bucket of crayons, and showed her how to color each little square a different color. To keep her motivated, I said, "Pip pip", as I colored in each square. For the remainder of our reading time, Max and I heard a little "Pip Pip" in the background. Gotta love that graph paper for keeping everyone happily occupied today.

Spontaneous yard ballet.

While Max added cicadas, camelia buds, and other natural occurrences to his nature notebook this morning, Micah and Milla tried on some traditional Romanian clothing in anticipation of our coming trip.

Something about the little pebbles in the sidewalk seemed so beautiful today- almost as if you could use it as inspiration for a quilt.

Traditional Romanian needlework.

I love traditional Romanian needlework, and can't wait until October when our family trip will allow us to see it done up close and personal. A few of my favorite Romanian needleworkings from around the house and closet.

A dinner date with kids.

Since Patrick is still out of town, I took the kids to a semi-nice local restaurant last night for a dinner date. A wild rumpus indeed. Our waitress, Astrid, learned more than she may have wanted about our family. Max waxed poetic about the steak and explained why he finds yellow vegetables to be quite suspicious, while Micah frankly declared her love for Astrid and tried to follow her inside and help her clear tables. 

Micah corrects Milla's table manners.

Thoughts on "perfect parenting".

An early morning outdoor ballet session.

Whenever I run across the "perfect" family, the one in which the children "obey" immediately and everything seems to work like a well-oiled machine in which the parts know their place and the place maintains its rigid, functional hierarchy of parts, I am torn between a sense of personal failure and a sense of pity. Of course we secretly long for the pats on the back and the social approbations of "Wow, you've really got your kids in line" because this is the cultural equivalent of complimenting someone on their parenting skills. This longing itself requires a critical gaze.

As a mother, I struggle with the social anxieties of having children who act their age- children who jump around and make crazy noises and express themselves with passion about almost everything. At these moments, I find it best to take one, two, three, okay maybe fifty steps back and remember my goals as a parent. This matters because time (and teachable moments) remain in limited quantities. The impressions and information that we share with our children constitute a core of knowledge for them in their interpretation of the world. Our time priorities, commitments, and inhabitings of the dailiness in life is the book we write about our values-- the book they will actually remember, as opposed to the book we gave to them to read.

These are my three simple redirections that assist me in reorienting myself when I crave something as simple (and silly) as a parenting map.

1. What are my goals as a mother?
2. Do any of these goals contradict each other?
3. How do I prioritize and act on these goals during the day?

Here's how this plays out in an example. The house is a wreck and we have guests coming for the weekend. Max needs my attention to get through a some new concepts in math, and Micah needs my attention to feel good about the game she is playing with her dolls. I have three hours to get everything done and the kids are all over the place- ready to bounce from the wall to the skillet. My temptation? To turn on the TV and start cleaning the house so at least the guests will think I can take care of a household. If I take a minute to try the redirections, I realize that this would be the wrong choice for me and my family. 

My goals as a mother can be briefly summed as follows:

• To provide my children with an environment of unconditional love and nurture from which to explore the world
• To kindle and guide their personal spiritual seekings
• To assist them in their attempts to learn more about the world
• To model and encourage a sense of love, respect, tolerance, and care for human beings, animals, and our natural environment

Nowhere on this list do I find "making a good impression on guests through a clean house". Parenting is about choices- making the choices in a way that reflects and dignifies your personal parenting philosophy. The choices you make will be reflected in your life (our never-quite-tidy house is a reflection of my choices). Be honest with yourself about the trade-offs. And be honest with yourself about what you value. I think a focus on ends (i.e. this is how we want our child to behave) is a mistake. You can make your child behave anyway you want by emotionally and physically abusing them. Forget ends and focus on means (i.e. how you treat and teach your child). 

Your personality type, as well as values, will be reflected in your parenting choices. For example, Patrick and I really value family time. He gets off around 6 pm everyday and comes home to our usual chaos. If our values placed a premium on order and efficiency as opposed to family time, then I would feed everyone as soon as he arrived and then the kids would be bathed and put in their beds to sleep (or cry) before 7:30 pm. Instead, we manage dinner and then piddle around until around 9 pm when everyone gets in their pajamas and Max gets his goodnight kisses. We pray together. Milla and Micah climb into our king size bed where Micah plays with my hair while drinking her milk and Milla nurses herself to sleep. Then we move Micah to her bed in Max's room. If the kids get scared during the night, they come to our bed.

Of course this is "inconvenient" at times. But it is also sweet, tender, and family-centered. I hope that our little ones remember their childhoods and nights as moments of safety and affection, islands of love to grow from. I know that I will not regret having treated their need for human touch with respect and dignity. Though our family choices are not "mainstream" (in that we aren't dedicated sleep trainers or custodians of perfect order), I understand why many families choose to prioritize child-free evening time over child-filled evening time. And I respect their choices. Because I want my children to respect the choices of others. 

Speaking of choices,  I've read every sleep training and Ezzo-authored book under the sun, but you won't find them on this list because they don't quite fit us. My favorite parenting and childcare book is The Complete Book of Christian Parenting and Child Care: A Medical and Moral Guide to Raising Happy Healthy Children by William and Martha Sears. We take some and leave some, as with everything. There is no right answer- only a well-consiered position. Keep your arms open to the world and the children all over it.

Today in bursts.

Our day's collection of treasures.

A really cool grasshopper.

Crape myrtle plucked fresh for pounding, sketching, and painting.

We found a number of cicada shells on trees today. This was Micah's favorite.

Max decided to see if cicadas were as crunchy as they appeared..... and no one said, "Ewwwww..gross." Because it's not that gross when you really think about it. Eating a crispy dry bug skin is less gross that eating fleshy cow guts and lard.

Give a little.

Homeschooling is a family project- everything we learn feeds in and out of our experiences as a family. Giving offers a cure for the gloomies and glums every time, so we're going to explore giving in our own ways as a family and as individuals by participating in the 29 gifts movement.

Rather than spend time online, I created a printable 29 gifts chart that can be printed and used by each member of the family. Download your own and get started.

29 gifts individual family charts in pdf

Love letter #12: A photo, a tune, and appropriations.

Milla basks in bubbles.

HOT SMOKE AND SASSAFRASS - The Bubble Puppy

I love this Flying Felties tutorial from the Living Crafts blog. What a great toy.

I love the postmodern poetry at eratio.

I love the history of children's collectives, though I understand why they were anything but a source of empowerment for parents living under a totalitarian system. Any system of childcare that does not respect the parents as primary caregivers and lovers of each child is based on weak foundations. The German stay-at-home dad wasn't a social institution that took well in GDR soil.

I love all the free downloads for Romanian literature, culture, and history available at the Prodan Foundation website.

I love the fantastic imaginings of Farmland World.

Traveling without moving.

If only I could find that old Jamiroquai CD, the day's motif would be complete... Patrick left with a kiss and the scent of cheap aftershave early this morning. My fever finally left so we are easing back into the regular churn which, of course, is nothing like the word "regular" and a refutation of any attempt at normal. That is why we insist on "normal for us".

Eager to share his travels with us, Patrick has been texting photos enlivened by commentary on a regular basis. The kids love it. Since Max is the penultimate fan of cloud-gazing (i.e. finding shapes, scenes, and stories in the clouds), Patrick sent this photo:

"I saw flying hippos, hopping frogs with mouse tails, and swimming sloths chasing cool whip today..."

What incredible images! He shared a picture of a rock quarry outside Charlotte:

He also challenged us to identify the lake in the photo below:

"It might be difficult to make out but there is a dam creating that large body of water. A "small" river is in front of the dam and on down the landscape. What dam or river is this outside Charlotte?"

"My wing and Charlotte airport. Off to Raleigh!"

About the mysterious dam, Max and I found that "North Carolina is dotted by more than 4,500 dams, most of them at privately owned lakes and ponds ranging in size from less than an acre to more than 3,500 acres, state records show." We presumed this is a federal dam after we found the following information:

State inspections are required every two years for high-hazard dams. Dams that pose smaller threats get inspected every five years. Large utility dams, such as those owned by Duke Energy, fall under federal authority. Legislation that went into effect Friday reduces state oversight for dams that are not classified as high-hazard. It exempts dams less than 25 feet high that impound less than 50 acre-feet, the amount of water that would cover a 50-acre area 1 foot deep. The old exemption had been for dams 15 feet tall holding less than 10 acre-feet of water.

Given this information, Max also suggested that the dam at Northriver near us is probably a federal dam because it would "destroy upstream coast". We'll investigate his hypothesis later this afternoon.

We've finally settled on the possibility that the mysterious body of water is Lake Norman which is part of the Catawba River Basin. We await a response from our man in the air....

Bad teeth and sunglasses.

 

I love them madly.

M-m-m-m mastitis.

I'd forgotten how the fever that comes with mastitis cripples. Every little bone in my body burns and aches. I kept going yesterday until I couldn't keep going anymore- until the sun moved like a foggy mirage across the room and the laughter of the children sounded like it came from a rabbit hole.

Give me the amazing pain of childbirth over the weakening, bone-gnawing throb of mastitis any day. Having mastitis reminds me why childbirth is nothing like sickness or illness and everything like an amazing physical experience. None of this weakness and distance from the world.

One lesson I've learned from this bout with mastitis- be careful not to treat a breast abscess like a clogged duct. Once you get to this point, pressing on the abscess is like pressing on a wound. Don't massage it and coax out the milk with your hands lest you irritate the wound inside your brest. Nurse all you can. Apply lots of ice and warm water compresses. Rest. Drink lots of liquids. Don't be surprised if your arms and neck hurt terribly- your body's lymph nodes are rising to the occasion. A few additional tips for dealing with clogged ducts and mastitis.

The nurseasaurus.

I love my nurse-asaurus, especially now when I'd like for her to nurse until the duct is unclogged. Alas, Milly has better plans. Like dancing in circles and teaching Micah's baby dolls to hug. Off to try and entice her again... 

Watercolor dabble shapes: An activity.

Yesterday, we hung out with Bunica and continued our love affair with bubbles and watercolor paints. 

To make watercolor dabble shapes, you will need:

• Two blank sheets of copy or printing paper 
• Scissors
• Watercolor paints
• A cup of water
• Paper napkins or paper towels
• 2 or 3 paper clips

Once you have your supplies, fold one of the sheets of paper in half and pass the scissors to your cutters. Tell them to cut a shape or two in the fold (like you would if you were cutting a heart). Max decided to cut a Mario brother and then changed his mind and cut an angel (picture below). Micah preferred that I cut the shapes for her because she wanted "squiggly lines".

Then unfold the paper and place it on top of the blank paper. Use the paper clips to secure it into place.

Twist your napkins into pointy tips and blot different colors onto the paper until you fill the patterned space to your sassifaction. When you have finished dabbling and blotting, take a look at the pages before you lift them. We found a drum roll to be appropriate.

After Max and Micah removed the paper clips, they were left with pretty watercolor shapes that caught the light and brightened the room.

Max's angel.

Max held his against the window because he wanted to "see the colors better".

Micah followed suit.

Meanwhile, Bunica was busy sketching a portrait of Micah with charcoal which she eventually watercolored. Milla, who did not paint, attempted to swallow a watch battery which led to an xray to make sure that she was less successful than she appeared. I explained to Max that often failure is a blessing. Just because we try to do something does not mean it would be best if we succeeded. 

Going on right now.

I would be there if I did not currently have a clogged duct which leans toward mastitis (nonstop nursing is our cure, mehopes) but if you are reading this blog right now, stop. Jump in your car and drive on over to Snow Hinton to show your support for our local immigrant community. 

 

Bubbles.

Joy and tears: A picture.

I had just finished explaining to Max that we would not be able to go to the beach with the Husseys this weekend after all and, naturally, he started crying. It is so hard to let him down because he loves to look forward to events, things, places, meals; the pounding in my head certainly discouraged me from doing it earlier. So there we were- Alina driving, Max crying, and the ladies looking bewildered. 

There weren't many options available. I stopped the car and got out to give Max a hug. Because he really really needed one. The sticky summer day wet the air between us. His 7-year-old hair still thick with the scent of baby chicks, a little boy struggling with the frustrations of an adult, learning to unravel 

And he looked up at me and smiled and said, "Thank you, Mommy." I thought I might turn into a puddle of melted blueberry sorbet or one of those elderly ladies who walks around smiling and humming in a world of her own making. He said it like he meant it. I hugged him as if he were a little creature on hiatus from the womb, but still lingering for the ambiance.

"Okay, that's it. Let me do something to make you happy. What would make you happy?"

He smiled through the tears, "Ha Mom- that's funny. A Happy Meal might make me happy."

"A Happy Meal it shall be Max-man." I hopped back into the minivan and started driving towards the golden arches. Because when someone tells you what would make them happy, you don't have to argue about it.

When we pulled up to pay for the Happy Meal, Max passed a folded sheet of paper to me. "Mommy, this is how I feel right now," he murmured, face still shiny with tears. What an incredible way to communicate his feelings! The cashier asked what was going on, so I explained that Max had gotten some bad news that he was sad about and he made this drawing to help me understand how he felt.

The cashier's face lit up. "Whhhhoooooo there little man!" he exclaimed. "Roll down that window so I can tell you somethin'..." Slightly surprised, Max rolled down the window. 

"Little man, WHAT do you DO when life gives you lemons?" he shouted. And then he said it again, almost like a call-and-response song, the rythmn itself made us grin.

"I SAID, what do you DO when life gives you a LEMON?"

Max started laughing in spite of himself- "You make lemonade." And there we sat in the McDonald's drive-through, a circle of smiles, each reinforcing the other. Love life.

Love letter #11: A picture, a tune, and some hearts.

 

Micah wearing the Neko Case tshirt dress I upcycled for her.

MISFIRE - Neko Case and Her Boyfriends

A garage sale for an adoption means Max and I will get to make "as-we-go" maps (rather than "how-we-get-there" maps) early in the morning. I love our Saturday expeditions. And I love making maps to explain where we went rather than maps that attempt to "get us somewhere". Goals are not always a good thing.

I love family journeys and families that journey. 

I love bonding.

I love the National Wildlife Federation's Eco-Schools Program, and I wish it were more accessible to homeschoolers.

I love imagining how Max will respond to Rube Goldberg machines when we discuss them next week. 

I love playing the Consumer Consequences game with the kids and realizing that I am a loser in more ways than one. 

And I love Homeschooling Belle's nights from around the world idea. 

Family time in Atlanta.

We skipped through Atlanta a few weeks ago to celebrate Jonathan's birthday and meet Baby Jael. Of course, in the meantime, we also managed to eat lots of scrumptious food, catch up with the Coryell clan, and re-discover how time flies when you visit family. I wish I had more photos to share...

Max hangs out at John Howell Park in the Highlands.

Little Milla takes a ride in a coup.

The crepe myrtles are everywhere.

Splashes of fuschia, cream, and pink to sweeten the summer days. Of course, Max was the first in our family to notice on a drive back home yesterday.... 

"Mom, I need to write about these crepes in my nature journal!"

"Crepes? What crepes?"

"The flowers! They're blooming!"

"Oh, I thought you were talking about food. But hey, now that you mention it, what a sharp eye you've got."

"Take a picture! Stop the car and take a picture."

"Hmmmm.... okay. Why not?"

And here it is.

Exploring unschooling with a fervent dabbler.

"For most men, the right to learn is curtailed by the obligation to attend school."

    Ivan Illich, Deschooling Society

Illich's book offers a radical approach to the concept of education- one which digs to the heart of our deepest assumptions and flies in the face of our most commonly held beliefs. For those who wish to learn more about the unschooling or de-schooling movement, its many variations (from the hardcore whole-lifers to the less-"convicted" adherents), and its beautiful offspring, I've compiled a list below. Ultimately, we must raise and love our children in the manner which works best for us. I'm a "fervent dabbler" in many things while remaining only "hardcore" about one- the love I want to share and relate through. 

Needless to say yet still worth sublimating- all the books and resources linked below are available for free. 

25 Explorations of Unschooling: Why to Unschool

1. "An Unschooling Landscape" by Danielle Conger (pdf)
2. "Unschooling Undefined" by Eric Anderson
3. The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto
4. The Open Classroom by Herbert R. Kohl (pdf)
5. Miseducation by David Elkind (pdf)
6. Instead of Education by John Holt (pdf)
7. "A Glimpse at Paolo Friere's Conscientisation" by Paolo Friere (pdf)
8. "Mindful Mothering: The Art of Being Present" by Danielle Conger
9. "10 Ways We Misunderstand Kids" by Jan Hunt
10. "The Six-Lesson School Teacher" by John Taylor Gatto
11. "Rules v. principles" by Danielle Conger (pdf)
12. The Lives of Children: The Story of the 1st Street School by George Dennison (pdf)
13. "Deschooling for Parents" by Sandra Dodd
14. Growing Without Schooling newsletter and archives (John Holt)
15. "How Children Really React to Control" by Thomas Gordon
16. Audio and video recordings of John Holt
17. "Against School" by John Taylor Gatto
18. "TCS and Karl Popper" (Taking Children Seriously)
19. "Parallels Between Unschooling and Unchurching" (Sparkling Adventures)
20. "And They Played All Day" (Authentic Parent)
21. "A Teacher Questions Compulsory Schooling" by Jim Strickland
22. "Unschooled Wisdom", a video with unschooler Erica Goldson
23. "The Case Against Competition", a talk by Alfie Kohn
24. Go ahead and quit (Breaking Daylight)
25. "The Decision to Unschool" (Unschool Days)

25 Ways To Unschool: How to Unschool

1. "The three stages of unschooling" by Kelly Lovejoy
2. Letterboxing
3. Toys from trash
4. "Building an unschooling nest" by Sandra Dodd
5. Unschoolers' Arts Gallery
6. Unschooling math (An Unschooling Life)
7. Using fairy tales (Waldorf Homeschoolers)
8. Loving Kells (A Number of Things)
9. How we unschool (A Bona Fide Life)
10. The Unschooler Experiment
11. Creating a portfolio (Enjoy Life Unschooling)
12. "Learning to draw by observing nature" by Junyee Wang
13. Global Children's Art Gallery (The Natural Child Project)
14. "Emotions Are Not Bad Behavior" by Robin Grille
15. "Unschooling didn't start with my children" (Radio Free School)
16. Free Learners (Learning Freely Network)
17. House rules (Consensual Living)
18. Rethinking Everything, an international annual conference for freedom loving families
19. Cage Free Family
20. The Story of Stuff Project
21. The Writer's Almanac
22. Living and learning as a father in an unschooling family (This Dad's Take)
23. 20 alternatives to punishment (The Parenting Pit)
24. "An Unschooling Journey- From Control to Connection" (The Parenting Pit)
25. Be a student of your child and chase the butterflies.

You can explore more unschooling books, articles, and more at this gem of a website. And you can receive answers to all the questions you are afraid to ask from Joyfully Rejoycing. And you can dibble, dabble, and explore your way through learning as through life- with joy, wonder, and a boundless sense of curiosity. 

Sketching is good for the soul.

The munchkins using their new sketchbooks in the backyard.

Today is a start-sketching day. Inspired by John Kelley's sketching series, we are delving into drawing with ours hands, feet, and (for Milla) mouths. John explains how sketching is an "addictive" habit which allows you to cultivate a sense of wonder and appreciation for life as it is lived around you:

When you become comfortable with your own personal sketching style there is a rhythm that develops during a sketch. This rhythm allows you to think about the days problems, dream about the future, pray for people and most of all you begin to habitually see what is going on in  the visual world. During one of my biology classes in college I remember the instructor asking us to look at a fish and write down everything we could observe with the naked eye. As you may have guessed, when we were asked to reveal our observations our lists fell woefully short of the instructors learned observations. If I had been an avid sketcher at the time, I would have forgone writing anything at all and simply sketched the fish. Spending 5 to 30 min or more observing something for the purpose of sketching releases tidal waves of visual information and you begin to realize just how much you have actually been missing.

Photographs record  two-dimensional documents. Sketching the same scene with your eyes and mind  involves you in a process of revelation! The best way to understand this is to take an object you are very familiar with and try and sketch it. I would guess that even if you sat down to sketch the face of one of your children you would be amazed at what you had never noticed; a mole here - a dimple there - or just the unique slant of their eyes (you'll be better off trying this while they are sleeping). What is revealed by this exercise is that there is visual information available all around us that we have never noticed. As busy human being  we tend to develop mental filters that get rid of the things we are not interested in and when your life  is saturated with the urgent  it is nearly impossible to notice much more than the big picture: small- large- green, blue-ugly-pretty. Just as a sunset is meant to be watched over a period of hours and not just with a glance, so the rest of the visual world has treasures that are revealed when we sketch them.

 

John's description underscores why sketching is such a useful part of nature journals and notebooking. And so it goes. The Coryell sketching adventure began this morning with the creation of our sketchbooks.

 

I introduced sketching by noting John's difference between sketching and drawing- sketching is general while drawing is specific. He defines a sketch as "a quick general rendering from your perspective". We talked about John's diagram (because Max loves diagrams) to understand more about sketching.

Then we dove into some introductory sketching exercises.

Exercise 1: Practice using your tools (i.e. pencils, charcoal, and pens) to see how lightly or darkly you can apply them to paper.

Max's curved lines and Micah's first lines.Yes, this exercise led Micah to draw her first lines!

Exercise 2: Use your tools to draw different squares on your paper. Notice the differences in the the way different tools make the squares appear.

Max's robot head squares (top) and Micah's first squares (bottom).

Exercise 3: Close your eyes and imagine something you'd like to sketch. Now sketch it from your imagination. Use lines that convey how it stands out.

Micah kept squeezing her eyes shut while sketching this portrait of "my daddy that I love".

And Max sketched a few stars which turned into an intergalactic scene.

A Micah-generated corn craft.

What happens when you give a child a printed corn template and see where it leads? Something different with each child, I'm sure. And here is this one.

Micah planning her corn.

Micah coloring her corn.

She added some leaves and grass from the backyard to her corn with glue because she didn't think the green crayon was "pretty" enough.

Using gouache paint with kids.

I love the versatility and mystery of gouache paint, and since I couldn't find an online resource for sharing gouache with kids, I decided, of course, to be the source of my own desires.

What's so great about gouache?

Gouache paint is a watercolor paint with chalk added, which allows you to create bolder colors than watercolor and achieve near-complete coverage by painting one color over the other. The difference between gouache and watercolor is that gouache is opaque (as opposed to transparent, like watercolor). You can't lighten the shade by using more water. Instead, gouache comes with a white paint that must be mixed to achieve lighter shades. 

Gouache behaves very similarly to watercolor paint, including the fact that it "re-wets," meaning that paints can be mixed directly on the paper even after the first layer has dried. You can also mix gouache colors in a palette, then apply the mixed colors to the paper. These attributes give gouache paints a versatility that other paints, such as acrylics, lack. Because gouache will continue to re-wet for years after application to a palette, artists can mix color combinations on palettes that they can use for years to come.

You can fix mistakes made with gouache by adding water to the area and then blotting with a paper towel. Repeat until you are satisfied.

Gouache paints work best on light-colored papers or materials, including: 

• Cardstock
• Construction paper
• Watercolor paper
• Cardboard (without a waxy surface)
• Untreated wood
• Clayboard
• Prepared canvas

How can you use gouache with kids?

1. Use gouache to fill in a pencil sketch or a coloring page. After sketching a picture lightly with pencil, fill in blocks of gouache for the undertones for chalk or oil pastels. Or just print a coloring page or favorite illustration and use gouache to fill in the undertones. Then have your little ones blend the pastel colors into the gouache.

2. Mix gouache with minimal amounts of water to use like a thick impasto. A small amount of water still needs to be used to allow the gouache to move, but a certain amount of texture may be achieved by using it thickly. This is a great way to layer colors in a wall collage or on pieces of wood.

3. Learn about complimentary colors and color properties by mixing a palette together. To mix a palette, squeeze out a dollop of color on one side of a plastic palette, and squeeze out the complimentary color on the other. Complimentary colors are red and green, yellow and purple and blue and orange. Then pull each color to the center of the palette, using a palette knife, and mix them in the middle. At the very center of the palette, the color should appear very dark, with increasingly lighter shades as you move toward the colors at either end. Finally, add dollops of white paint at the edges to lighten the intensity of the colors in the palette. Add dollops of other colors to add tints to the two complementary colors you've chosen.

4. Stain some wood in nontoxic fun colors. Apply gouache to dampened timber to create single or multicoloured wood stains. The type of timber used will alter the final colour, with light coloured timber giving the brightest results. Apply diluted gouache as a wash or add a small amount of colour to damp timber and paint out with a wet brush or sponge. Allow the gouache to absorb for a minute or two before rubbing or wiping back with a damp cloth to the desired finish. To lighten further rub back using more water or add more gouache colour to darken. The stain can be altered even when dry by rubbing with a damp cloth. It will lighten to a matte finish upon drying. Apply a final permanent finish, like a matte wax varnish or a shiny varnish.

5. Use black waterproof ink to make a gouache resist drawing.

6. Or use black waterproof ink to create a gouache relief drawing. 

Max and I experimented with mer mag's color theory painting so we could figure out exactly how gouache paints mix and interact. We used white paint to mix a plethora of colors. Max's final experiment (pictured below) was much cooler than mine, especially since he messed around with patterns.

Meanwhile, Micah used a dark colored paper to see how gouache paints show up on darker paper. She painted a "C is for caterpillar". We noticed that the blues came out violet, even though gouache is supposedly fairly opaque. I guess if you wanted a blue on red paper, you would have to wait for it to dry and then add another layer.

How to mix and use gouache paints.

1. Moisten your brush and load it with paint. Paint directly on top of a dried section of gouache to mix the two colors directly onto the paper.
2. Spray a section of your painting with a light mist to re-wet the colors. You can now add paint directly to the painting to mix the colors you've already applied with new colors.
3. Wipe sections of the painting with a damp paper towel to blend the colors, soften the edges and reveal the lower layers of color that you've applied. Wiping too hard will cause the colors to appear smudged rather than blending or mixing. A moistened cotton swab accomplishes the same goal when working in smaller areas.
4. Pure gouache white can be applied as highlights or details to a transparent painting, for example to draw the filaments of a spider web over a shadowed background, or to tip in the white of a gull's wings against a stormy sky. Colored gouache can be used in the same way, to accent forms or clarify details.

A gouache gallery to inspire and excite:

• Ralph Parker spills his gouache painting secrets. 
• I love Kaye's gouache demonstration and it really helped Max see how the paint can be used and layered.
• Jacob Lawrence's "Hiroshima" series is a great example in how gouache can be used to evoke human pathos.
• Charlie Roberts' gouache paintings are a little less heavy-handed.
• Cable Griffith's demure paintings make great use of gouache.
• Roger Hilton's "Untitled" reveals how gouache can express the rich colors of oil paint.
• There is nothing quite like Steve Mumford's "Soldiers At The Morgue".

Nap time photo shoot.

My sister-in-law, Ashley, introduced me to a wayward little addiction called Instagram, which Max loves because it allows him to "edit" (read alter) a photo very rapidly. We just finished a little photo shoot in the kitchen with photos mostly taken and edited by our in-house Maxer.

Sleeping beauty.

Coy Micah.

Pensive Micah.

Splendid Micah.

The photographer allowed me to take this shot of him.

"Take a picture of ME, Max!!!"

"No mom, leave your hair down. I like it down..."

The letter C continued.

C is such a great letter- the first letter of my sister's very Italian name, Carla. C is for the collage you can make when you cut c-words from magazines (let your munchkins find them) and glue them to a page. Also, C is for:

• clouds
• caterpillars
• cold
• circles
• counting
• circus
• clowns
• coats
• camping
• chickens
• camels
• coyotes
• cardinals
• chipmunks
• candies
• castles
• catapults
• cars
• cake
• crowns

For Max:

• Alphabetize letter c words worksheet
• Once upon a cat story starter printable

For Micah:

• A printable C is for booklet from ABC Teach.
• C is for camel coloring page.

For all of us:

• C is for Caterpillar craft from Crayons Glue and Scissors.

Such a beautiful day.

Stealing my husband.

Or rather, stealing a moment to drop off his lunch and use the restroom.

Tribal chief tattoos.

Yes, you can spend an hour playing around with a couple of tribal chief tattoos.

Especially when Baby Milla can't stop laughing every time she touches these strange emblems on her siblings arms. 

The letter C is for.....

So many beautiful words. Micah woke with a smile when I asked her if she wanted to explore the letter C with me today. 

Handwriting is more "fun" for these two than I ever remember. Max begs for new cursive letters and Micah loves tracing sheets, so both were excited to explore the world of C today.

    Blank penmanship practice page for Max to extend his C.

    Connecting cursive letters including a and c for Max to see how he feels     about it.

    Tracing-letters-c-cap for Micah.

c is for corn

Everybody wanted to start with coloring and crafts, so that's just what we did.

    C is for corn coloring page, a little addition to Micah's beloved     alphabet book.

    Corn template for use in our corn craft.

Milla's dancing inspired the kids to dance a bit, so we bobbed about until Max said "pop" which reminded me of a corn-related movement game I read somewhere long ago. Here's what I said to the kids as we played "Pop Corn".

• "Okay guys, curl up on the floor like an unpopped kernel of corn and imagine that you are in a pan on the stove...."
• "I'm turning on the stove and it's getting a little warmer...."
• "I'm pouring some oil over you and the oil plus the heat are making you get ready to pop..."
• "You're getting hotter and hotter..."
• "You're starting to pop a little, your arms and legs might be popping out... Pop like a corn that is just starting to pop."
• "Now you're almost fully popped. When you feel hot enough to pop out of the pan, hop and pop right out."

Max worked on rounding big numbers notebook while Micah played around with sizes. I made the mistake of thinking that Micah might be satisfied with four worksheets. But I was wrong. "More, Mommy, more!"

    Beginning visual discrimination worksheet 

    Beginning visual discrimination worksheet 2

    Intermediate visual discrimination worksheet 1

    Intermediate visual discrimination worksheet 2

Micah with her homemade shield and her shoes on the "wrong" to me but right to her feet.

Needle painting for kids tutorial.

What follows is a little freebie from this garage sale find- I love the 1970's graphics and colors. Print and share with your kids.

A hole in my heart for little hands.

Max and Micah disappeared in a black car driven by Suebee and Pops yesterday. They will spend two nights in Atlanta and then we will arrive to hang out and pick them up this weekend.

The house is absolutely silent (save for the sound of soft thunder coming in with slippers) and I could do anything I wanted right now. But I don't know anyone as cool as Max and Micah to do it with (except their dad, and he has a "real job"). 

So I've been sketching. And printing. And playing. And reading. And thinking about what other cardboard pieces to save for the cool house we started making on Tuesday.

King Max of the Magnolias, as he has recently dubbed himself, is never more than three stitches away from heart and mind, while my hair looks far too groomed without Micah's fingers to twirl and curl it. How wonderful to love and live so close to my children that I miss them dearly and feel their physical absence as an open wound rather than a bruise masqued by make-up that no one will discuss.

I remember how little sympathy there seemed to be in the working world for my daily missing of Max when we lived in Virginia. I remember the suffocating pretense which required me to discuss anything except my child.

Wait, wait... I know.... what's it called? Paranormal hip attachment? Overly-nurturing attachment? No, dependent personality disorder. That must be me. I'm addicited to love. I guess I am one of "those moms"- the ones who need to "get a life"- but I find the rational arguments to be unpersuasive and the self-delusions dishonest.

It's okay to miss your children madly. To love them madly. To adore your family. And it's okay to say so. On that note, don't donate your self-help books to thrift stores. Most working single moms don't have the time for that kind of leisure. I've been there.... Just burn them and breathe free. 

Little hands pasting pictures to craft paper for the back wall of the house.